Catching up

I must say I was shocked to see that I haven't written in several months.  I think about writing nearly everyday, things I want to record so that I don't forget and before I know it another day has passed.  Work has been relentless since last fall.  I barely survived the holidays and was thoroughly looking forward to the new year.  But I've been excited about the last 3 new years and all it's potential but somehow, they all seem to end the same and begin with the same momentum and wishful thinking that just disappears after the sparkle of the new year has faded and reality sets back in.  I've been working on my house.  Proud to say I've finished another room of pulling up carpets and a gazillion carpet nails and installed wood flooring all by myself (other than the brief interest & assistance by my 5 year old son).  I have a hallway and my living room to do yet.  I have a few other projects lined up for spring and have many outdoor gardening ideas.  I've been fairly consistent with exercising this year so far, something I completely gave up the latter part of last year.  I've struggled financially more than I thought I would as a single parent, so I've had to adopt a budget which is hard to stick to but I don't have much of a choice.  I am getting over my divorce and really happy being alone, not lonely, not single, just being by myself.  Between work, my son, school, house work I don't have time for much else.  I'm OK with that.  I was with my ex-husband for nearly 19 years, since I was 16 years old.  I have never experienced being "alone"  my entire adult life thus far.  It's nice to have the freedoms I've never had before. I hear my friends in relationships talk about dating issues and their mans baby mama issues and it just makes me realize even more that I am not ready for anything like that.  Sometimes I get lost in being a mom and forget to find time for myself but I am happy spending my time with my son and don't want to make time for anyone else.  I am still in repair.

 I have the best child, who brings me lovely little treasures and heart felt hugs.  He tells me everyday how deep his love for me is, showers me with hugs and kisses, we read together, laugh together, pray together, sing at the top of our lungs together, shake our booties dancing throughout the house, there is no better life I can imagine that would be better or more appealing than the one I am living right now watching my child grow and thrive and experience life!  Sometimes my love and adoration for him brings me to tears.  I was made to be a mother, his mother.  I would change nothing of my life.  I have the dearest friends and most dependable family.  I am truly, deeply blessed and I don't take one minute of this life for granted, it goes by too fast to not appreciate every moment.