Practical Magic

Flipping through the channels tonight I see that the movie Practical Magic is on.  My best friend back then, Jill (whom I called Jilly Bean-same as one of the characters in the movie) and I loved this movie when it came out in 1998 (can't believe it was that long ago!).  I had totally forgotten the soundtrack to this film.  We had many mixed drinks singing "you put the lime in the coconut"...makes me grin just thinking about it.  As I watched it tonight the movie ended up being a bit silly in parts. I didn't recall that from watching it years ago.
 Although, I can't say that I believe in witches in the sense that they fly around on brooms but I certainly will say that I believe in magic.  I believe in deja vu because I've had it too many times not to.  I believe in thinking of someone you haven't in months and then receiving a call from them or seeing them a few days after isn't just a coincidence. I believe in wishing on falling stars and that finding four leaf clovers is lucky.  I believe in fate and destiny and hope and love.  I believe in that spark, that magic that happens between people that can never be undone once it's sparked, no matter how hard you try to drown it.  So much has happened the past 2 years in my life and at this point I only have faith and hope to hang onto and to keep me going.
 One of the songs in the movie was by Stevie Nicks called "If you ever did believe". I remember hearing it years ago and knowing it was one of those songs.  I LOVE me some Stevie Nicks.  Her songs have been a part of my life as far back as I can remember. My parents had her records and I would sneak & listen to them as a young girl.  I haven't heard this song in years but as soon as I heard the first few guitar chords I could literally visualize all the lyrics of this song in my head swarming around, even after 15 years.  It means something to me now, but differently than it did back then.  It wasn't a "chart topper" by any means but it's one of those little overlooked things, one of those neglected songs that should have been bigger than it was.  I believe that it was meant for me to see that movie tonight and hear this song again now. Magic.

 http://youtu.be/lppPiUyIyt8

"If you ever did believe" Stevie Nicks

You've left me now
and it seasoned my soul.
And with every step you take,
I watch another part of you go...

I continue to build a wall.
You were so strong,
I fell to my knees.
And I don't think I can handle this at all...

Well, one more night
I'd like to lie and hold you
Yes and feel...
To make you smile,
I'd like to be there for you--
Have you forgotten me?

And the days go by
Doing nothing about them...
How much time will I have to spend?

My mind won't rest and I don't sleep,
Not even in my dreams.

If you ever did believe,
for my sake.
If you ever did believe....

And the days go by
Doing nothing about them...
How much time will I have to spend?

One more night
I'd like to lie and hold you
Yes and feel...
To make you smile,
I'd like to be there for you--
Have you forgotten me?

http://youtu.be/lppPiUyIyt8

Surreal

If someone would have told me 15 years ago that my life would be what it is today, I would have thought they were certifiable.  There is no way that I would have ever, in a million years, thought I would have experienced what I have, nor would I have ever imagined I would be in the place I am.  It is hard to wrap my brain around all that has happened.  I know that there any many people who have experienced much worse than I.  I guess it's one of those...that will never be me...I will be happily married with 3 kids...building my dream home by the time I am 35...well, so far it isn't happening that way...far from it.  Each day that occurs seems to bring with it something new and uninvited to my life.  I have certainly stopped saying to myself "can it get worse?" because YES it can.  The things that have happened in the last two years were never supposed to happen to me.  Apparently, God intended it that way and I'm sure he saw every step I have taken along the way before I even thought about taking that step.  It is just so surreal to me.  But I will get though it, I have no choice but to get through it.

I learned that from you.....

Last evening, Brody pulled a cd out of the case & said he wanted to hear it.  It was Sara Evans (whom I think is the most beautiful woman alive!) and I listened to it on and off today.  On my way back from lunch this song came on and I remembered hearing before but never really paid that much attention to it.  Well, let me tell you, by the time the song was finished I was slumped down in my seat with tears flowing.  Felt a punch in the gut.

I remember the windows rolled down and the wind in my hair.
Driving 'round in your Daddy's old Chevy
Like we were going somewhere.
We thought that summer would last us forever...
Going steady was just something you do.

I didn't know much about love...
I learned that from you.

Now those were some good times,
Lately they don't seem to last.
I guess I'm not nearly as strong as a drink in your glass.
And the nights just get later,
I can stay up and wait or just go on to bed like I do.

I never knew nothing about lonely....
I learned from that you.

One night while the whole world was turning I left you a note.
And I told you that I'd always miss you...
Then I let you go.
Now, I'm living outside of some town I ain't heard of.
And I think about the boy that I knew.

I didn't know you could fall out of love...
I learned that from you.

And I learned how to kiss on a Ferris wheel.
And I made wishes at wishing wells.
And I fell into that fairytale too.
And I know that love ain't so easy,
But we tried, didn't we baby...
It's alright.
Some dreams weren't meant to come true...
I learned that from you.

I remember the windows rolled down
And the wind....