Glad to see you go 2011....

I opened my facebook account in January 2011 and just went back and viewed all of the posts that I made throughout the whole year....needless to say it was quite interesting. Most notably, I lost my last grandparent, Grandmama and I lost my "first baby", my dog, Randy this year. Some friendships ended, new ones were formed, and old friendships were made new again.  I became an aunt again this year to my nephew, Tizer and strengthened my relationship with my oldest nieces, Eve & Molly.  This year I started writing again, which is something I always cherished and I am hoping to improve on my writing skills in the upcoming year.  I have started exercising and running again.  This year, my son has grown and developed into a fine little boy.  He learned his alphabet and learned to count, he learned how to swim and of course, his driving skills improved greatly.  I learned this year that marriage and parenting are the two most complicated, difficult commitments humanly possible but most rewarding at the same time.  I learned a lot about people that I didn't realize, saw different sides of people I didn't know lied within.  My eyes were opened this year to some good things, to some bad.  I found courage within myself that I wasn't sure was there and feel fearless heading into the upcoming year.   Though at times, I lost perspective, lost faith, I realize tonight that I have many, many blessings in my life and I hope and pray to continue to be blessed in the new year.  I hope the new year brings me less loss than this one, more happiness, more love, more friends, more peace than the one before.  So with that, I'll end with a quote by Benjamin Franklin:

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better person.

Happy New Year!

Stop this train....

No, I'm not color blind....I know the world is black and white.
Try to keep an open mind but...I just can't sleep on this tonight.

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go.
One generation's length away, from fighting life out on my own.

Stop this train....I want to get off and go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in.
I know I can't....but honestly, won't someone stop this train.

So scared of getting older....I'm only good at being young.
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man...said help me understand...
He said "turn 68, you'll renegotiate."
"Don't stop this train....Don't for a minute change the place you're in....
Don't think I couldn't ever understand....I tried my hand.
John, honestly, we'll never stop this train."

See, once in a while when it's good....It'll feel like it should...
And they're all still around...
And you're still safe and sound...
And you don't miss a thing...'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Stop this train....I want to get off and go home again.
I can't take this speed it's moving in.
I know I can't....cause now I see I'll never stop this train.

By: John Mayer

Childhood memories....

My parents divorced when I was 5 and I mostly got to visit my father on the weekends and holidays.  My brother & I usually stayed most of our school vacations with him and most of the summer.  I miss his old house so much, especially this time of the year.  It was in Fincastle and down a long dirt road.  It was placed on a huge farm, complete with barns, silos, an old grave yard, pond, etc.  This place was old but completely magical.  The front had a field that presented some of the most stunning sunsets.  The trees were huge and bold, surrounding the house.  There was a patch of yard off the front porch that produced hundreds of four leaf clovers over the years.  I can recall sitting in the cool grass in the summer heat filtering them out one by one.  There were irises that surrounded the house and in spring, the smell was so sweet in the warm air. I still have some of the bulbs from those irises and it instantly takes me back there when I smell them now. There was hammock in the back yard, and a small, wild strawberry patch under it.  There were wild rose bushes, apple trees, and the dirt in the driveway was so fine, more so than even baby powder, it nearly disintegrated when you rubbed it between your fingers. 

When we were kids, my dad had an old orange Jeep that we used for romping around on the property.  We would drive around in the woods in the winter until we found the tree that would be our twinkling Christmas idol for that season.  It was so much fun, such an adventure, that I will never forget and it's one of those occasions that if I could go back in time, it's one I would do again in a heart beat.

It was such a beautiful landscape, especially when it snowed.  My dad loved taking pictures and when it would snow we would all wrap up and venture off while he took pictures of what had been created for us to enjoy.  It just doesn't seem to snow like it used to back then, nothing is as it was back then.  It remember feeling like we were in our own world there, it was safe and fun and it's heart breaking to think that place is no longer there.  Thankfully we have pictures and memories and I can close my eyes and see every picture on the wall, feel every creak of the floor beneath my feet, feel the smoothness of the handrail at the stairs, and can still smell the fire burning in the stove.  That place was old but magical, it was home, like no other home I have ever known since. 

Catch up....

I didn't realize just how much time has passed since I last wrote.  To put it lightly, things have been completely hectic.  But we have been trying to do our normal holiday preparations.  We have had pictures taken with Santa, had breakfast with Santa, saw Santa in the Christmas parade, talked to Santa on the telephone, watched Santa in movies....pretty much all things Santa.  My son is completely thrilled about Christmas and I am realizing that in just a few days the bribery of what I will tell Santa, or what Santa will see, will be coming to an end, which saddens me but I have just about exhausted that threat anyway.  So I guess it all works out in the end.  I am anxiously waiting to see Brody first thing Christmas morning!  I'm hoping that some of that youthful joy and Christmas magic rubs off on me, because I sure could use it these days!!